"Arsenic and Old Lace" Audition for the Theater

A darling lady, and the very model of Victorian charm and grace, who poisons elderly gentlemen with her sister as an act of charity. She and her sister Martha seem to be the absolute embodiment of the values and polite society of a bygone age. More dominant, and a bit older than Martha, both ladies are happy, healthy, lucid, and spry. Aunt to Teddy, Jonathan, and Mortimer.

Very sweet, but more submissive than Abby, Martha still is a strong woman. She and her sister have lived together for many, many years. Their personalities and pecking order around each other have been firmly rooted for eons. Aunt to Teddy, Jonathan, and Mortimer.

Daughter of Rev. Dr. Harper, and Mortimer’s fiancée. She is surprisingly wise in the ways of the world for a minister’s daughter. She is a little bit wily, sassy, and absolutely sharp. We witness Elaine progress from casual happiness, to utter bliss, to twisted confusion, to stark fear, to godsend relief, and back to casual happiness again.

Nephew of Abby and Martha, brother to both Teddy and Jonathan Brewster. Very likable, Mortimer is a drama critic who is in love with & engaged to Elaine Harper. A good-hearted cynic who is about to have his world turned upside down. Note: This is a physical role. Physical comedy, perfection of timing in dialog delivery, likability in presence, and an ability to display agility in navigating the rapidly changing circumstances of each scene, absolutely necessary.

Very likable, kindhearted brother to Mortimer and Jonathan, Nephew of Abby and Martha Brewster, Teddy is a man who believes that he is the 26th President of the United States, Theodore Roosevelt. Extreme dedication and energy is necessary while charging up a flight of stairs and screaming “CHARGE!” Note: This is a physical role.

Nephew of Abby and Martha Brewster, brother to Teddy and Mortimer. Jonathan is a psychopath who has numerous murders to his credit and no scruples whatsoever. He is creepy. Jonathan is a killer that loves his business and he’s got an unbelievably short temper. Dr. Einstein has changed Jonathan’s face three times, currently resulting in a Boris Karloff resemblance (to which he is a bit sensitive.)

A German plastic surgeon, with an accent to prove it. Right hand to Jonathan, Dr. Einstein is mousey and submissive. Einstein should be viewed as a good guy whose life has gone bad. With somewhat of a ratty appearance, his face wears the benevolent smirk of a man who lives in a pleasant haze of alcohol.

(Cameo) A doctor of divinity, and the minister to the church next door to the Brewster house. The Brewster sisters have seen many ministers come and go over the years, but they seem to be particularly fond of Dr. Harper and vice versa.

(Cameo) The first police offcer we meet in the show, Brophy is the thoroughly likable sort. They are making their rounds collecting Christmas toys for the needy.

(Cameo). A flatfoot Brooklyn offcer who makes their rounds with Offcer Brophy collecting Christmas toys.

(Cameo). Offcer O’Hara is the quintessential example of an Irish-American police offcer: Full of life, good natured and played big. He/she is on very good terms with the Aunts. O’Hara is a would-be playwright, and needs to plainly display the nagging, persistent drive that’s kindled within him/her once he/she discovers that Mortimer is a famous dramatic critic. Well intentioned, O’Hara really doesn’t mean to come across as annoying as he/she does.

(Cameo). An elderly gentleman who wishes to rent a room from the Brewster sisters; and nearly falls victim to the sisters “charity”. He is a little gruff, but he warms up fairly quickly upon being offered a treat he hasn’t had since he was a child.

(Cameo). The man in charge at the local police precinct. Very early in the show we gain a pretty strong understanding of the caliber of men he has to manage under his watch. As such, he has very little patience for blunder and mistakes, and needs to run a pretty tight ship. He is loud, decisive, and clearly in-charge of every situation in which he finds himself.

(Cameo). The superintendent of Happy Dale Sanitarium. Very mild mannered and kind.